“How to stay happy and live and work without burning out?” I started asking myself this question about 8 years ago when, after years of struggling, I was diagnosed with depression while still at home with our younger child and just about to return to work.
Talking about mental health is extremely important. I have always been fascinated by the human mind, but it was only through my own difficulties that I became interested in neuroscience to better understand how our brains work. It was mind-blowing for me to finally get some scientifically backed information about what I had always felt: the mind and the body are not two different things – they interact in such a complex way that I often wonder why we continue to talk about mental health in isolation from “other health”.
This is my story of how I recovered from depression and what the journey has taught me. I hope this can benefit others – whether in the workplace or in their personal lives.
Self-awareness is the foundation of everything
To improve well-being – both mental and physical – increasing self-awareness is the first step. It helps us to recognise our emotions and reactions to better manage our responses, and it helps us to become aware of our thoughts and assess whether they are truly accurate.
Earlier, my thinking patterns were often distorted and especially, overly demanding. Learning to question my own thoughts – for example, “Am I really not good enough?” – was a turning point. Therapy helped me realise that many of my self-imposed expectations were too high, without anyone else having demanded them. Therapy became an important tool for me in developing self-awareness, and over the course of years, I have been able to replace harmful thinking patterns with healthier – more truthful – ones.
Self-awareness is a skill that I will continue to develop for the rest of my life.
The importance of good sleep
Sleep is incredibly important, and it was one of the first things I had to fix in my recovery process. I had suffered from sleep problems for a long time, but like many I just thought, “I have to get through this day.” Today, I know better how essential sleep is for brain health.
There are many ways to improve sleep quality, and the key is finding what works for you. For me, this was a crucial step in my recovery, and I would recommend seeking medical or other professional help to get sleep back on track.
Recognising and setting boundaries
The third important lesson was the application of self-awareness insights to everyday life – both at work and at home. No one knows what’s on your plate better than you do. At work, we are constantly asked to attend meetings, work on projects and complete tasks, but it is crucial to learn to say no when resources are limited. Regularly reviewing priorities with my customers and my manager has been a good practice that helps us to assess together what is important and what is not.
Setting boundaries is important not only at work but also in private life. Many of us are trying to be not only a good employee but also a good parent, a good daughter/son, a good partner, a good friend, a good athlete, even a good citizen, and with the world wide web as a reference point, we can set ourselves impossible expectations. Constantly pushing our own limits, even when work and life seem meaningful and fulfilling, can be costly.
Managing information overload and focus
Today’s world is overloading our brain in all sorts of ways: a non-stop stream of news, social media, constant notifications from different channels. This often leads to multitasking, which science already knows to be harmful* for our brains. Therefore, it’s essential to learn how to focus on what matters and filter out unnecessary distractions.
I’ve realised that constant interruptions at work decrease my productivity, so I’ve made it a habit to schedule uninterrupted focus periods and typically check emails and teams/slack messages a few times a day.
I also try to avoid screen time and social media as long as possible after waking up. A simple routine to put my phone as far away as possible (preferably to another room) whenever not needed significantly helps me to stay focused. I also know that some people have put a post-it note on their phones saying “why” to become aware of the habit of picking up the phone whenever they are bored or can’t concentrate. We need to get bored to give our brains enough room for innovation and new ideas!
Daily recovery
One of my biggest realisations was that I can’t wait for weekends or vacations to recover. Recovery needs to happen daily, during the workday itself. No matter how much I love my job, the most important people in my life are waiting for me after work. To have the energy to be fully present with them, I need to ensure that I’m recharging throughout the day.
For example, I’ve made it a habit to try take small breaks regularly, walk up and down stairs, listen to my favourite song and dance along, do some stretching etc. Sometimes, after an intense work session, I take a short nap (I have also tested the office sofa). This helps me to re-energise and be able to focus again. Combining meetings with a walk is also a great way to boost energy and get some physical exercise during the workday.
Fueling the mind
Hormones and neurotransmitters in the brain play a crucial role in how we feel and what our state of mind is. As I have become more aware of my emotions, I have learned to recognise when my body needs a boost of energy (e.g. a fun physical activity like dancing – and yes, I have done that in the office, too) or when the opposite is needed to calm the body (e.g. a deep breathing exercise or listening to relaxing music to relieve stress).
Each of us has different ways of recharging and calming down. For me the best ways to recharge my batteries are spending time with my loved ones, laughing out loud with someone having the same bad sense of humour, reading a good book, playing board/card games, eating tasty but healthy food, enjoying a sauna or a long warm shower, getting a massage, walking in the nature, or doing one of my favourite hobbies (horse riding, couple-dancing, snowboarding). The close connection with another person or with an animal, a horse in my case, helps ground me in the moment and calm down when life feels too fast-paced.
A lifelong learning process
This journey is far from over, and it will never be “finished”. I’m still learning about myself every day. There are days when I could have taken better care of myself, but now I’m quicker at recognising when I’ve exceeded my limits and making corrective actions.
When I was at my lowest point in depression, I felt like a “walking dead”. But having survived that, there aren’t many things that I’m afraid of anymore. Although depression was the hardest experience of my life, it taught me so much, and now I even see it as a gift – even though it certainly didn’t feel like that at the time.
Today, I talk quite openly about my struggle with mental health, but I still remember too well how ashamed I was at the time. I didn’t tell anyone at work what was going on; only very few of the closest people knew. I hope that, in the future, no one has to feel that kind of shame. Mental health should not be something we hide, but an integral part of our overall health.
*) There is already evidence that multitasking increases our stress levels, reduces productivity, makes us less intelligent and does tangible damage to the brain that resembles Alzheimer’s disease on brain scans (Sandra Bond Chapman, PhD, Center for BrainHealth).
